Alone, in a crowd.

I have been trying, because I think it is what he wants and there has not been time to really ask, to get.. out more. Alone, on my own with no shopping list. I have left the house dressed prettily, with fresh ribbons in my hair and wandered to the market square and to the docks. My feet are bare, my ankles no longer belled so I no longer can draw attention without speaking. I miss my bells but.. I like my new found ability to be silent.

I can go where I wish, I can be soundless, silent and soft. I can lean on a wall by a window and hear the discussions inside. I can go unnoticed. Even in the house, i think.. I can sneak now. I really don't need too but it is interesting, to know I can. I have not been brave enough to go anywhere yet where I might be forced to serve a man.

No one hears me when I sneak down to the basement and lock myself in that room. That room scares me so much yet I keep coming back to it. I keep touching everything there, running my fingers over the netal and the leather and mostly the silk.

I crawl into the thick plush furs and feel myself sink into the luxury of them, my honey gold curls spilling around me and I imagine what it must have been like for the woman who lived down here, kept away from the sun, hidden away and protected from jealous anger. Love can be cruel.. love can hurt. I run my hands over the silk and let my gaze fall on the dangling chains, tiny manacles. I flex my wrists and bring one to my mouth, pressing my lips there as I stare at that hanging chain and feel all slithery slick inside.

I fall asleep there, The key in the lock, the chains still as stone and my naked body wrapped up in the heat of.. this room.